Omen Theory

I can control events with my mind. And not only future ones, but retroactively as well. I do it ALL the time.

Example:

About two weeks ago I was driving to the gym. Just as you "on-ramp" to the loop, you must navigate a bridge over a bitty man-made lakey thing. As I looked off to my right, over the bridge railing, and at the water (because that hurtling 2000lb piece of metal 'neath my ass doesn't need all that much concentration...), there were little pointy ripply thangies on the surface of the water. I was intrigued, so I looked longer. Obviously, immature Nessies taunting me. As I casually glanced back to the road spiralling out in front of me, I seemed a tad close to the guardrail barring me from the plunging edge of the bridge.

I corrected and rocketed on. But as I continued on my merry way, I visualized (this is the mind-control part), giving free reign to the possible outcomes that didn't happen, but could have, but were prevented, retroactively, by my giving them full expression in my wee brain after the fact. Got it?

Here's what might have happened: I looked out over the railing to see the ripply things and the Colonel (as my plum Jeep insists on being monikered) plunges through the guardrail, off the bridge and down into the coldy-cold little lakey water (slow-mo). As I watch the dark and oh-so-solid looking water stretch up to meet my oncoming SUV, I have time to completely and thoroughly assess the opciones. If I start unwinding (ooo and I have the auto down windowy option) the 'lectric window now, it will have time to roll down far enough to let pressure equalize so I can open door (window crank? I got your crank!!!). At same time I will craftily unlock doors before the nasty hard water shorts the modern convenience 'lectric system Now, all I have left to do is unbuckle the safety harness, extract face from airbag, exit through open window, and backstroke leisurely to bank and await rescuer-y folks. 'Cause I definitely would have had plenty of forethought as to be holding cellphone well out of watery grave, and of course passers-by would have seen my Jeep careen off the suddenly looming bridge. This could have been very, very bad... BUT...

Now, see... that didn't happen, couldn't have happened, and can't happen because I have given such free, unfettered, and complete imaginative expression to the drama so that it feels unto itself as if it has actually occurred as has given vent to it's fullness of bad thinginess. Hence, by letting bad things/omen/occurrences happen vividly in my peanut-sized brainpan, they cannot happen in reality to my peanut. (but don't tell them or the spell is broken...)